As I was reading Blue Like Jazz today, I came across the section in chapter 9 about belief. Don writes about how he would never get married because he would be afraid of his wife leaving him because she watched a certain TV show or if she saw him naked or something. The response of his friend is, "When a relationship is right, it is no more possible to wake up and want out of the marriage than it is to wake up and stop believing in God. What is, is what is."
Donald continues, "And that's when I realized that believing in God is as much like falling in love as it is like making a decision. Love is both something that happens to you and something you decide upon."
This got me to thinking about my own marriage. How much I loved Priscilla from the first time we started dating. It just happened! As we grow older together I realize that perhaps like believing in God I had very little choice in loving my wife...I just did! Yes there was cognitive thinking to the relationship, but I really can't explain all of my love for Priscilla, it just was. But perhaps one of the greatest gifts my wife gives me is catching a glimpse of how God reaches down in love to me.
God's love is unconditional. Nothing is hidden before his eyes. He sees it all and still say's, "come to me, be mine, I love you!" I don't have a closer friend than Priscilla. She knows me when I am in front of people and she knows me when I am at home without an audience. My wife knows the dark things in my life and even after seeing me naked, she still say's, "I love you, come to me, be mine."
I see God's love for me more clearly in my wife's attitude towards loving me. I cant help it, I love her. I'm so glad she, "happened" to me. Loving her is in a sense, magical. But her loving me is a miracle. And you know what, that is a little bit what belief in God is like. We love Him sometimes in unexplainable ways, but knowing and believing in His love for us (knowing ourselves) is truly unexplainable.
Love ya babe!
